Monday, 24 May 2010
So, a few weeks ago or so now I kind of got found out! My wife found this Blog and wanted to know what it was all about; she wasn't mad, just disappointed that I had been keeping secrets from her! I explained that all this is just a fantasy, that our relationship wasn't in any danger and that I wasn't about to do anything stupid, it was just that this was something that had been with me for a very long time and was just a part of me that I was not hiding per se, just keeping private! She was surprisingly understanding but for almost a whole week, I thought about abandoning this Blog and just packing it all in. After some thought and in hindsight, I have decided that this is not such a good idea. After all this is a part of my personality, albeit a slightly shameful one, that I have tried unsuccessfully before to suppress...as I am sure we all have at some stage! No...this Blog, for me, is a place to live out my fantasies and share them with you girls; a place for Sophie, my feminine persona, to express herself and be the horny, dirty slut she so longs and aches to be. And for that reason alone, it would be wrong to close this down especially as my other half is...okay....about me maintaining this and would not want me to change who I am! I think what upset her more were the pictures that I modified of myself using virtual make-over sites! Once I reassured her that this is all just a fantasy in my head, she was a bit calmer about it all. And her understanding, as well as surprising me, also reminded me why I fell in love with her in the first place! It also helped me feel less ashamed and disgusted with this part of myself!!
I think I should clarify more clearly how I see myself: I am not gay or homosexual, though there is no harm in that. I do not fancy blokes or find them sexually attractive in everyday life. I do have a slight fetish for womens' lingerie and that has transmogified over the years into an obsession with crossdresser and sissy transvestite websites. The thought of being forced femmed now sexually excites me to the point where I have developed the personality of Sexy Sophie! But this is just a fantasy and not something I have any desire to replicate in real life though I do sometimes dress in panties and stockings as an aid to my imagination and to help me get excited....
Things I am REALLY not into include magical transformation,infantilism, paedophillia, bestiality or zoophillia, urophillia, coprophilla or scat, sado-masochism or auto-erotic-asphyxiation though I do love the sound of that last word.
I DO love forced feminization fantasies (hypnosis or chemically induced), mild incest themes (though I do not fantasise about any real members of my family, merely a imagined set of characters that replace them), lesbianism and the idea of forcibly being transformed into a Sissy. I love stockings and suspenders, silk and satin, naughty knickers, opera gloves, heels, slutty red lipstick, long nails,
the thought of permanent make-up or being forced to take female hormones. All these are themes that will turn up at some point in my fiction.
I am not disturbed, sick in the head or am anything to be ashamed of! When I write this Blog or visit my websites then I become Sexy Secret Sophie and this is NOTHING I should be disgusted by! It is an important part of my personality and I SHOULD embrace it!! This is my little secret fantasy and it doesn't concern anybody else if they don't like it or are offended by it! It is a part of who I am....
If only life was that simple.....
XXX Sophie XXX